Hate What You See In The Mirror? Read This.
There is so much more to life than what you are currently living, and so much more love that you can open yourself up to.
Like many women, I tolerated the following:
Painful periods, PMS, mood swings,
Bloating, discomfort in my stomach… (it’s “normal”, right?),
Crippling feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness,
Exercising to burn off calories,
Counting said-calories,
Looking at other women as body parts, rather than whole human beings, consumed with thoughts such as: “oh I want abs like hers”, “what does she eat to look like that?”, “if I buy this exercise program, then I’ll look like her”, “if I stop exercising, then I’ll lose my gains”…
Obsessing comparing myself to the never ending list of “fitness” accounts that were run by women with eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and unhealed mother and father wounds, which devastated their self-worth and self-image. Let’s not forget all the #inspo, #glutecheck #abcheck, #fitnessgoals, #cheatday, #absaremadeinthekitchen, #ifitfitsyourmacros, #iifym, #sunsoutbunsout posts.
Don’t worry, I’m calling myself out more than anyone else… but if you’re feeling called out, that’s awesome! Keep reading.
I recently did a post on my instagram, recalling a time where I overheard two petite, teenaged girls complain about a smoothie having too many calories, and that it would make them fat. It was heartbreaking for so many reasons.
One of which, was my moment I realised that my body image issues surfaced as young as my primary school days. I compared my body to that of my friends when I was 5-years-old. FIVE! Can you believe it? What does a 5-year-old have to worry about their body for? Then, as a 7-year-old, I told my teenaged family-friend that I wished I was skinny like her. She was dumbfounded, and did her best to comfort me “you are skinny like me”… her heart really was in the right place.
Another memory surfaced, of when I was 9-years-old. Sitting in my two-piece swimsuit as my classmates and I awaited our swimming instructors to collect us for our lessons. I clearly remember telling myself to suck in my stomach, and to angle my body in a certain way so that the other kids couldn’t see my stomach “rolls”.
It only escalated from here as I got into my teens and early 20’s. I never received a label for it though, and most people who knew me would be shocked to hear of these struggles. I have received comments from those I have opened up to, who truly had no idea — “but you’re so fit though?!”, “you’re so into your sports, and you’re so healthy?”.
Yes.
But, eating disorders don’t always look like someone who is skin and bones with their clothes hanging off them. Or, the other way — obesity is an eating disorder too. It does not always look like the girl who only eats tiny salads. And it certainly doesn’t always look like the girl who sneaks off to the toilet after meals to throw up.
A lot of the time, it’s the girl who posts photos of how “proud” she is of her lean body (all the time), of her cheat days #treatyoself, and of how much she can eat and “not get fat”. It is often the girl who is a fitness fanatic and is extremely “dedicated” to her healthy lifestyle. The girl who tracks her macros and calories.
How do I know this?
I was that girl, and I knew many like her too. I finally left that all behind, and can honestly say that now, at the age of 27, I love my body. For everything that it does for me. Not just what it looks like.
It is my sincere hope for every girl, teen and woman to love their body as much as their body loves them. Because even when I was busy hating mine, trying to make it look like another, it kept going. It fought to keep my alive, despite what I put it through. It was always there for me and made sure that I would wake up in the morning, EVERY morning, (relatively) intact.
It has been a journey to get to where I am today. If I had to break it down into stages, it would look something like:
Found a coach who helped me to focus on functional fitness goals, and in a sport that encouraged weight gain and being strong (olympic weightlifting).
Healing my core wounds that CAUSED the self-worth and subsequent body image issues in the first place — Liana Shanti.
Studied to be a plant-based Health Coach with Health Mastery Institute. No, I do NOT get paid to promote them. I just truly believe in what I have learnt and the life proof I (and thousands of others) can show for. This reminded me of the true MIRACLE that the human body is, and how we must take care of it if we want an amazing life.
Rid my body of candida overgrowth and parasites (which everyone has by the way). This helped balance my hormones too, especially after being on birth control pills for so long.
Studied to become a certified Sports Performance Coach — not paid to promote them either, just loved learning from them. I use this knowledge, coupled with my own experience of training, to show women exactly what their bodies are capable of; beyond aesthetics.
If you resonate with any of what you just read, please know that you can get to where I am too. I promise you. I went to some very dark places along this journey; dark places that sadly, many are no stranger to.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and even if you feel you have tried it all before, believe me, there is someone that you will meet that is meant to be your guide out of that very tunnel.
With that said, let me leave you with a free, parting gift to get you started.
You are so much more than what your body looks like. It is truly within your reach to uncover your healthiest, happiest, vibrant self. You’ve been there all along.
With love,
Amya