Reasons you might hate going to the gym, and what to do about it.
Whenever I meet someone who tells me they hate going to the gym, I usually have questions for them. Not because I’m biased as a strength training coach, or because I once did olympic weightlifting… but because there are usually so many factors that contribute to a negative experience with the gym.
Sometimes it’s the gym environment, and I understand that for some women and even men, it can be really intimidating… and gross. (I’ll tell you about the story of me happily training in an empty room and suddenly being surrounded by 20-30 football club guys going through their strength and conditioning session).
I’m also not a total jack ass who believes that EVERYONE should love the gym. And to be honest, I don’t love going to commercial gyms either, and I don’t love training all the time. But it gets done.
Because of the health benefits of strength training, I do like to problem-solve with people WHY they’re struggling with the gym, and it’s usually for the following reasons.
1. You spend too long there.
Unless you are a professional athlete, or are training for a specific sport, you do NOT need to be in the gym for longer than 60-75mins. This is inclusive of warm up and cool down. What does that look like in an efficient, well-programmed… program?
Warm up, 10-15mins: 5mins at an easy pace on a cardio machine, then 10mins of mobility exercises.
Strength training exercises, 45mins.
Cool down/stretches, 15mins. Longer if you have flexibility goals.
That’s it. I don’t know why people killing themselves in the gym for no reason. Plus, from a perspective of ageing gracefully, exercising for too long and too intensely shortens the telomeres of your DNA. This is the opposite of what you want if you want to be doing all the things you’re doing now as you get chronologically older.
2. You do too many exercises.
Some people have a million exercises they do per session and then get bored. This is because most people follow bodybuilder type programs, where they do lots of isolation exercises (one-two muscle group at a time, like bicep curls, pec cable flys, etc.), compared to compound exercises (multiple muscles being worked at a time, e.g. squats).
You can get more bang for your buck by doing compound exercises as the bulk of your program, finishing off with some accessory work that comprise of isolation exercises if there are areas you want to target.
But you really don’t need to be doing more than 6 exercises per session. Focus on quality > quantity. Sometimes in my home workout programs, like Strong With Amya, I have 7-8 exercises, but they are usually super-setted (done back to back), and/or they are shorter sets.
If you have no idea how to structure a workout plan, and want one that covers all the bases for you, I have a variety of programs, and I can do customs for you too.
3. You go too often.
You’d be shocked to know that in my peak training days, I would train mostly 3x per week, sometimes 4. Between running my own business, having fun in life and training… I didn’t really need or want that much more. Had I been wanting to become a professional athlete, this would have changed, but there’s also a risk of training too much and too early.
Training every second day is great because it allows time in between for rest and recovery, for you to not get bored, and for you to enjoy other areas of your life — because we have one outside of working out, right?!
For the every day person who just wants to get fit and look good, strength training 3x a week is PLENTY. Moving on those off days is always a good idea, but it can be leisurely.
4. You don’t have a plan.
I’ve been strength training for 13 years. I’ve trained with many trainers and on my own. I’m now at a level where I can walk into the gym without a plan and make one quickly within minutes. This happens during phases of my life where I just want to move and I love how I feel when I strength train.
But when you have goals, when you just want to switch off and get it down, and when you want to see changes while being efficient, having a training program is essential.
A good training program will flow according to:
your goals
your preferences
your time limits
your experience level
the equipment that is available
and the layout of your training location
If your program is NOT meeting ALL of this criteria, reach out to me.
5. You’re exhausted.
This one is a no-brainer, I’m sure. Because no one likes to workout when they’re feeling tired. I have shared with my Strong With Amya ladies the difference between mental and physical fatigue, and knowing when to push through and when to back off — these are very important and a topic for another day, but it’s important to know that feeling tired all the time WILL be a hurdle to you wanting to hit the gym, or work out in any way for that matter.
Despite being widely accepted and normalised as being a part of adulthood, it is not healthy to feel tired all the time. And yes, there are periods in life where it’s inevitable, like if you work shift work, are a parent to young children, etc. BUT, beyond these circumstances, feeling tired all the time is a red flag for your health and should be investigated.
Look into your:
adrenal and thyroid health
cortisol levels
hormones
iron levels
diet
sleep patterns
narcissistic abuse from parents, your partner, friends, or boss. These personality types siphon your energy. Literally.
6. Your goals are unclear.
If you don’t REALLY know why you’re going to the gym, other than the fact that you think you “should”, then you’re not going to last long.
Going to the gym is a means to an end. What is that end point for you?
To lose weight?
To get abs?
To keep up with your children?
To stay fit for work?
If your desired state is not emotionally strong enough, going to the gym/working out just won’t be worth it to you.
7. You’re exercising as punishment.
If you’re working out because you don’t love yourself as you are right now, then you are about to, A) not last long with your new regime, or B) will get the results you want but doing so at the cost of never being happy within yourself and with a warped relationship with your body, exercise and food (just like I did).
Loving yourself isn’t bubble baths, chocolate cake because you “feel like it”, or shirking all responsibilities.
Loving yourself is loving who you are RIGHT NOW. Even if you are 20kg overweight, even if you have acne, even if you’re struggling to fall pregnant and are SO tired right now. It’s an inherent self worth and deep knowing that whatever physical condition you are in is temporary, but your worthiness for love, respect and kindness (from yourself and others) is eternal and unconditional.
By the way, we tend to get the desired physical physique we want more easily when we love truly love ourselves. Because loving ourselves also means making decisions that we KNOW are for our best interest, like :
Saying no to the 3rd slice of cake, and going for a walk instead.
Not stocking the house with food that you cannot say no to when in those binge moods.
Reading a book instead of doom scrolling for 2hrs.
Saying no to the guy who only calls at certain times of the night.
Making banana nice-cream instead of stocking the fridge with toxic ice cream.
8. No one showed you what to do, or why you’re doing it.
It’s hard to be confident and efficient in the gym when no one has ever taught you what to do, when, for how long, and why. You might be pushing yourself too hard, or not enough, and then wondering why you’re not seeing results.
You could also be at risk of injuring yourself and then turning yourself off from the gym all together.
9. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself.
This kind of ties in with number 7, but also from a timeframe stand point:
how much time in your day and week can you really dedicate to the gym?
what does your schedule look like and how can you maximise it instead of cramming in too much?
are you rushing yourself to look a certain way, to lift a certain amount, and SOON, or something of that nature?
is your workout program efficient and actually conducive to whatever goal you’re trying to achieve, within the timeframe you’re expecting it to?
did you just have a baby 6 weeks ago and are expecting your body to bounce back like all the IG mum’s bodies do?
10. You’re not fuelling enough and therefore you have no energy.
Too many women under eat and over train. This is a self-defeating cycle and actually has disastrous effects on your body, mind and soul. If you don’t know how much you really should be eating, check out my free meal plan here. This is just a guide, some of you may likely need to eat more, depending on your individual factors. This is often why my clients come to me for personalised meal plans.
It’s also important to highlight that eating life-giving, whole foods is important for recovery. This is why I eat and promote a low-fat, whole food plant-based diet. It’s really not as intimidating as it sounds, just see the meal plan I referred to ^. Not only does it help your recovery, but it also assists in hormone regulation (goodbye painful periods), supports healthy digestion and gut health, keeps you energised all day long, helps you to sleep better, is protective against cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and inflammation.
There’s a reason why so many elite athletes have switched to a plant-based diet, aside from ethical reasons.
11. You might need to take a break.
If you’ve been at it for a while, are not seeing results, and it’s starting to affect your mental state, you might need to take a break. Do something else that will move your body. For some people, there does come a point where exercising impacts their mental wellbeing, and while the answer isn’t always to just quit (there is usually underlying repressed trauma that needs to be addressed), it can be helpful to take a pause and pivot.
Working with a coach that understands fatigue, burnout and stress can be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.
12. Maybe you really do need to do something else that you enjoy.
The gym truly isn’t for everyone. I believe strength training is, but I understand why people hate the gym. If this is you, then truly, you may be better of having your own equipment at home with a sound program, or training at a trainer’s private facility.
Alternatively, you might get more enjoyment out of a different activity, like hiking, adult gymnastics, swimming, soccer, kickboxing classes, dancing, yoga, basketball… whatever it is that gets you moving — do that!
Exercise should be FUN. Challenging sometimes, yes, but FUN. It’s going to be something that you do for the rest of your life, so you may as well enjoy it, right?!
If you are stuck and need some guidance, you can book in your FREE call with me, or shoot me a DM on instagram.
Happy training!
Love,
Amya